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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Trials of Every Kind

"I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me". Alma 36:27 ( Book of Mormon)

This is my first post of my one and only and first time blog!! I was debating what to write about considering I want people to read this and an introduction only seems fitting, however I would not be honoring myself and my God. I want to first and foremost confess and proclaim the Lord's grace and mercy in my life and that he himself has been the one to save and change me. Its been a long road and addiction is just the beginning. The real journey began once I got sober. This last year has been one of the toughest for me to endure and not just endure but endure well. The Lord asks us to be patient and long suffering and endure well through all things inflicted upon us. I feel like Ive done everything except endure well this past year.  I am like a child at a candy store and I get impatient and demanding and feel like an ice cream bar is freaking well deserved due to my perceived excellent behavior for an exceptional amount of time. Ive been on long road trips with my children and they continue to bug and nag and question when we will get there. I do the same thing with my Heavenly Father, " When will I arrive???  When will I meet prince charming?? When will I have my dream job and dream car??? " The Lord must get very frustrated with me and yet he never reveals that to me. He continually shows up for me as patient and loving as ever like he has been doing this parenting thing for years and years!! Crazy. He seems to know exactly what I need when I need it and precisely how. I heard in a 12 step meeting once that he is a fourth watch God, meaning he shows up just in the nic of time and I understand and believe that. He wants us to learn to trust him and have faith rather than fear but ultimately if we are living righteously and progressing our thoughts should become his thoughts and his thoughts ours. I am working on trusting my intuition and taking action and leaving the results up to him. This lesson seems rather simple and yet it has been a difficult one for me. I am grateful the Lord has seen fit to save me from the gulf of misery and endless woe and that he sustains me one day at a time as I turn my life over to him. He is the light and the way and I have a testimony of his goodness and tender mercies and the atonement that enables me to be more than I am on a daily basis.